Everyone wants to be successful. Our society preaches that as long as you work hard and put in the effort, you can achieve your goals, no matter how far-fetched. But that’s not realistic. Out of the billions of people live on our planet, only a few thousand have played in the NBA, become the President of their country, become multibillionaires. So how do they do it? While all these stars and role models cite their success to hard work, God and their own inner drive, perhaps what they miss is being realistic. And sometimes being realistic means facing the choice between continuing down a rocky, unforgiving road or turning away and choosing another.
In explaining my take on deciding what to do in these cases, I offer you two scenarios: a person who wants to find success in everything, and a person who wants to succeed in a passion that they have been continuously struggling with.
Let’s look at the first scenario. This person wants to be the best at everything that they do. They do fencing, golf, Math Olympiad, debate, and piano for their extracurriculars, and practice these activities every week. Their vision of success is winning in all the tournaments that they attend, all while keeping up with their grades. However, they are struggling to do so, getting eliminated at the quarterfinals or failing to even reach the top 20 in their tournaments. Their grades are mediocre at best and they are constantly inches away from reaching their goals of success.
Now on the second scenario. This person loves basketball and sets a goal of reaching the NBA/WNBA. They train daily and work as hard as they possibly can on drills, shooting and more. However, they simply can’t reach their school’s Division One team every year, no matter how hard they try and can’t achieve the goals that they set for themselves for each game. Also, they are 165 centimeters tall at the age of 18. This person feels that they have tried their hardest and wants to continue down that path to seek success. Meanwhile, this is eating up on their time to study, to pursue other interests, and spend time with their family.
These scenarios are perhaps what many students and adults face or have faced at some point in their lives. And I’ll structure my advice by each scenario.
For the first scenario, the person is spreading out all their time and effort to do several different activities at once. And at the same time, they are losing valuable time to hone and practice their skills for these activities as well. Time is a zero-sum game, and spending 10 hours on practicing fencing means 10 less hours on practicing the piano. If the person wants to achieve their goals of success, they must focus on doing so in one or two activities. The metric for choosing these activities is often based on how much passion a person has for a certain activity or whether they believe they can really find success in this activity. At the point where they are constantly inches away from success even after a long period of time, it is more than time for a reconsideration of strategy.
For the second scenario, the person must make this decision of whether to continue or not. The passion, while a noble cause, is hurting them at the same time. While this fits into the common sacrificing for success narrative, when the person is failing to succeed while sacrificing so much, the strategy must be changed. On a cost-benefit calculus, they must decide whether it is worth it to continue chasing this goal and whether this may negatively impact their future or not. If they do choose to continue down this path, the goal may have to be changed to fit a more realistic model, such as scoring 8 points per game, or becoming a starter for the Division 2 team.
While this isn’t attempted to become a critique upon society’s “hard work pays off” narrative, we must keep in check the reality we live in upon us striving to reach our goals and fulfill what we define as success.
In explaining my take on deciding what to do in these cases, I offer you two scenarios: a person who wants to find success in everything, and a person who wants to succeed in a passion that they have been continuously struggling with.
Let’s look at the first scenario. This person wants to be the best at everything that they do. They do fencing, golf, Math Olympiad, debate, and piano for their extracurriculars, and practice these activities every week. Their vision of success is winning in all the tournaments that they attend, all while keeping up with their grades. However, they are struggling to do so, getting eliminated at the quarterfinals or failing to even reach the top 20 in their tournaments. Their grades are mediocre at best and they are constantly inches away from reaching their goals of success.
Now on the second scenario. This person loves basketball and sets a goal of reaching the NBA/WNBA. They train daily and work as hard as they possibly can on drills, shooting and more. However, they simply can’t reach their school’s Division One team every year, no matter how hard they try and can’t achieve the goals that they set for themselves for each game. Also, they are 165 centimeters tall at the age of 18. This person feels that they have tried their hardest and wants to continue down that path to seek success. Meanwhile, this is eating up on their time to study, to pursue other interests, and spend time with their family.
These scenarios are perhaps what many students and adults face or have faced at some point in their lives. And I’ll structure my advice by each scenario.
For the first scenario, the person is spreading out all their time and effort to do several different activities at once. And at the same time, they are losing valuable time to hone and practice their skills for these activities as well. Time is a zero-sum game, and spending 10 hours on practicing fencing means 10 less hours on practicing the piano. If the person wants to achieve their goals of success, they must focus on doing so in one or two activities. The metric for choosing these activities is often based on how much passion a person has for a certain activity or whether they believe they can really find success in this activity. At the point where they are constantly inches away from success even after a long period of time, it is more than time for a reconsideration of strategy.
For the second scenario, the person must make this decision of whether to continue or not. The passion, while a noble cause, is hurting them at the same time. While this fits into the common sacrificing for success narrative, when the person is failing to succeed while sacrificing so much, the strategy must be changed. On a cost-benefit calculus, they must decide whether it is worth it to continue chasing this goal and whether this may negatively impact their future or not. If they do choose to continue down this path, the goal may have to be changed to fit a more realistic model, such as scoring 8 points per game, or becoming a starter for the Division 2 team.
While this isn’t attempted to become a critique upon society’s “hard work pays off” narrative, we must keep in check the reality we live in upon us striving to reach our goals and fulfill what we define as success.